英语四级写作技巧：语态的隐含意义（2）

英语四级写作技巧：语态的隐含意义（2）

　再看下面各例

　　Choppy: Of course, the weapons at Sun Tzu’s time were quite primitive. The armies were very large. They were nearly as large as those in World War Two. The devastation and human sufferings were just as profound as in World War Two.

　　Better: Compared with World War Two, the weapons at Sun Tzu’s time were quite primitive, but the armies were nearly as large and the devastation and human suffering just as profound. 中 华 考 试 网

　　Choppy: Proverbs are short sayings. They are drawn from long experience.

　　Better: Proverbs are short sayings drawn from long experience.

　　Choppy: People change and places change as well. Jennifer felt this strongly. She had been away for eleven years.

　　Better: On returning after an eleven-year absence, Jennifer had a strong feeling of how people and places change.

　　Choppy: Beijing streets are crowded with taxis, company cars and private vehicles owned by the newly affluent. The number has been rising rapidly in the last few years. The latest statistics show there are now 1.2 million vehicles in Beijing alone.

　　Better: Taxis, company cars and private vehicles owned by the newly affluent have crammed Beijing streets in rising numbers in the last few years - 1.2 million vehicles at last count.

　　Choppy: Moby Dick is a book. It is a long book. It is about a whale. A man named Ahab tries to kill it. Herman Melville wrote it.

　　Better: Herman Melville wrote a long book called Moby Dick. It is the story of a struggle of a man against a whale.

　　Choppy: Thousands of buildings met the same fate. This alone is now being preserved. It marks the center of the nuclear explosion. It is being preserved as a symbol. It symbolizes our wish that there be no more Hiroshimas.

　　Better: Of the thousands of buildings that met the same fate, this alone, marking the center of the nuclear explosion, is now being preserved to symbolize our wish that there be no more Hiroshimas.

　　Choppy: I have always had a dream. My dream has been to be a famous writer. Everyone would read my books. I would become very wealthy.

　　Better: I have always dreamed of being a wealthy, famous writer, read by everyone.

　　Choppy: This is a wreck. It was formerly the stately Imperial Garden. It is preserved deliberately as a reminder and symbol.

　　Better: This wreck, formerly the stately Imperial Garden, is preserved deliberately as a reminder and symbol.