2018年托福独立写作范文及解析（1）

2018年托福独立写作范文及解析（1）

　　People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

　　1. 题目翻译：

　　人们上大学为很多目的， 比如有人为准备工作经验，有人为增长知识。 你认为人们为什么上大学?

　　2. 审题关键词：College/university; Why; Study/learn; Education

　　3. 论证分析：

　　正: We can learn lots of important knowledge when attending university.

　　正: University provides us pretty good opportunities to make more good friends.

　　正: University degree offers better jobs.

　　参考范文：

　　People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

　　People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons. I believe that the three most common reasons are to prepare for a career, to have new experiences, and to increase knowledge of oneself and the world around.

　　Career preparation is becoming more and more important to young people. For many, this is the primary reason to go to college. They know that the job market is competitive. At college, they can learn new skills for careers with a lot of opportunities. This means careers, such as information technology, that are expected to need a large workforce in the coming years.

　　Also, students go to colleges and universities to have new experiences. This often means having the opportunity to meet people different from those in their hometowns. For most students, going to college is the first time they’ve been away from home by themselves. In additions, this is the first time they’ve had to make decisions on their own. Making these decisions increases their knowledge of themselves.

　　Besides looking for self-knowledge, people also attend a university or college to expand their knowledge in subjects they find interesting. For many, this will be their last chance for a long time to learn about something that doesn’t relate directly to a career.

　　I would recommend that people not be so focused on a career. They should go to college to have new experiences and learn about themselves and the world they live in.

　　全文点评：

　　1. 本文是正正正的大正型支持文章，结构标准，逻辑清晰。

　　2. 文章首段写的非常标准，简单明了，并对下文的几个正文段都用几个词组进行了概括，纵览全文。

　　满分因素剖析

　　语言方面：

　　文章语言比较平实，论证恰到好处，没有过多用来炫技的语句，很少有语法或逻辑错误，读起来清晰自然。

　　1. I believe that the three most common reasons are to prepare for a career, to have new experiences, and to increase knowledge of oneself and the world around.

　　此句中，believe后面引导宾语从句，that后面的内容出现在及物动词后面，做主句的宾语，用来表达作者的看法和观点。在结构上，此句是文章开头段的最后一句话，承接上面作者提出的观点，提出三个分论点，引出下文，是文章的逻辑与层次更加清晰。

　　2. In additions, this is the first time they’ve had to make decisions on their own.

　　此句出现在论证段落中，承接论证的上一个层次，引出论证的下一个层次。in addition是一个连词短语，表示“此外，其次”，相同意思的还有additionally，furthermore，moreover, besides, also, what’s more。 在托福考试中，考官非常看重连词的使用，因为这些词往往可以文章的结构和层次更加清晰，是论证更加有逻辑性。

　　3. Besides looking for self-knowledge, people also attend a university or college to expand their knowledge in subjects they find interesting.

　　此句中，Besides是一个介词，后面接动词的ing形式，构成介词短语，意思为“除了...以外”。此句出现在文章第三个论证段的开头，besides引导的介词短语可以承接上文，而主句可以提出本段的论点，这种衔接方式是文章更加流畅。Expand的意思是“扩充，拓展”，expand knowledge表示“扩充知识”。这种表达很形象，很生动，比常用的“acquire, obtain”更有感染力，大家学习模仿这种表达。

　　结构方面：

　　本文是一篇标准的五段论证结构，开头一段，中间论证三段，最后结尾一段。论证部分采用正正正的大正论证结构，段落鲜明，结构清晰。开头部分开门见山，出现了 prepare for a career, to have new experiences, and to increase knowledge of oneself and the world around.

　　这三个中间的分论点。作者在论证过程中用到很多链接词，这样是文章结构紧密，逻辑清晰。最后一段收束全文，是文章浑然一体，看上去一目了然。