满分作文：思想有多远，你就写多远

　先介绍一下我的考试的WRITING：30

　　INTEGRATED: 写了260多个字，不多，不过我认为每一点都很到位。不过可惜的是，我实在是不记得自己写的啥了。或许有补偿的办法：考试前写过一篇类似的，从思路，写作方式，到整体结构都应该和我考试时写的大同小异，我要花时间找找，然后传在这里，给大家讲一讲。

　　INDEPENDENT：写了472 个字(记得很清楚 呵呵)。同样很遗憾，实在时记不起自己写过什么了，但是当时写这篇文章的状态和考前冲刺时的状态一模一样，思想源源不断，根本不愁没有写的。所以我考前冲刺写的文章应该是有价值的。

　　这里我要详细讲，相信大家也很期望吧， 呵呵不要着急。讲之前，我想征求一下大家的意见， 我有几种方式：

　　1 我介绍一下我的准备过程，及怎样才能将一个TOPIC 一步一步的展开，最后成为一篇文章。

　　2 我自己在准备的时候写过N篇练习文，大家是要我全部上传呢? 还是挑几篇我认为有代表性的给大家好好剖析一下?

　　3 我可以帮大家分析几个TOPIC，通过我的分析我相信能帮大家打开思路，这是我认为准备TOEFL作文最重要也是最另很多人头疼的东西了，N 多次看见有人说写作些不出来东西，其实这些都是中国过于集中式思维教育的结果，发散式的思维是写一篇好文章的基础(包括GRE作文)。通过对TOPIC展开，我相信大家在这方面会有进步的。

　　最后我不想过于的说太多我的想法，用法，句法，毕竟说太多会让大家有迷惑性，我想告诉大家一种思维方式和模式，然后大家就可以创造出自己独有的源源不断的写作内容了。(我需要一些时间整理自己的文章，请大家耐心等待，我会以最快速度完成的，明天又是一天满课...哎!) 以上三种方式大家认为如何? 如果有更好的意见请及时回馈，毕竟我没有太多的时间啊， 呵呵。

　　INDEPENDENT 部分是大多数人的难题，原因是因为很多人都找不到话说，这个问题在我身上也出现过，我刚开始准备写作的时候基本上要用45分钟左右才能写完一篇文章(字数300左右徘徊)。一直到考前20天左右我都还有这个毛病。更有的时候是东西在自己的脑子里，可是就是不知道怎样把它写出来，一个句子翻来覆去的写，结果时间就这么浪费掉了。相信这个是大多数人的通病吧。

　　为了引出我的内容，首先我来讲讲模板问题：

　　我认为背模板不要背得很详细，那样对思想的禁锢很大。对以后自己思路的形成不利。但是我不能说我没有模板，我的模板就是：

　　开头： TOPIC SENTENCE, 开门见山，没有必要太磨叽(也可以通过一两句话来引出自己的TS)。 但是TS 在第一段，我建议，一定要出现。这样会让阅读人很容易进入状态找到突破口。当然也可以不用非要在第一段亮出自己的TS，不过这种情况下要对阅卷人形成好的印象需要非常好的ORGANIZATION。第一段也可以摆出自己每段的分论点，也可以不用(如果你觉得第一段有分论点，而每段开头又有分论点会造成重复的话，可以选择不用)。无忧托福网!ao)d'Px]

　　然后：紧接着THREE/TWO 段分论点，用来支持自己的TS。

　　最后：再次扣回主题(避免单一的重复第一段)。

　　也许很多人都会想我在说废话，但是这个的的确确就是我唯一的模板。(不信的话请阅读我上传的文章，没有任何一篇不是按照这个思路来的，但是每一篇都不用固定的网上那种模板写出来的)。请大家认真想一想，这个是作文的主导思想!!

　　刚才说的是结构问题，现在来谈谈语言。在语言上我从来都没有背过任何一个句型，全部是自己的语言组织起来的!这可能在某一个层面上揭示出一个问题，TOEFL 作文不需要太高深需要人思考很久才能看懂的句子!所以大家慎用在GRE 上背来的超长，超难的句子。另外我在语言上对自己有唯一的一个要求，那就是要用得NATIVE 即AMERICAN STYLE。这个其实我也不好说，因为是一种久而久之的感觉吧。我的建议是不要在自己的脑子里想出一串自己以为很妙的中文句子，然后翻译出来。这个做法导致的结果是90%情况下你翻译出来的句子是“四不像”，既没有中国的韵味，也不符合美国人的阅读习惯。可想而知，阅读人是不会APPRECIATE这样的句子的。大家尽量用英文去想，慢慢练习。

　　NOW，讲讲怎样讲打开自己的思维：

　　这个完全归功于高分120。 这本书我从图书馆借的，已经还了，所以具体它讲的什么我忘了，可是我却永远忘不了我体会出来的精髓!其实严格的说我就看了5页，用了1个小时，这5页是作者就一个TOPIC 用了十个不同的段落去写。(而我们却为了写一个而发愁)。看我以后，我仔细分析了一下，作者说的话都是当初在我脑子里有的话，只是我急于找一个PERFECT POINT 去展开，而把它们全部PASS 掉了，可是那个作者确确实实将我PASS掉的东西写出了10段不同而且又都很不错的SUPPORTING PARAGRAPH。(相信很多人有这种体会吧，脑子里有东西，却总是在犹豫自己到底要不要写?)

　　于是我的所得：思想有多远，你就写多远，跟着自己的思想走!(当然要于自己的TS 有关) 请大家花个几分钟好好体会一下这句话，这并不是我所能传授的一种很CONCRETE 的东西，这句话太ABSTRACT 了，我并不奢望大家都能一下子有所感觉，但是希望大家在练习的时候会对这句话有更多的体会。 我也是在不断的练习中慢慢深化这个理念的。

　　用这个思想我来给大家一个EXAMPLE 吧：

　　TOPIC: Pets should be treated as family members

　　首先确定自己的立场，大概估计一下自己在那一方面的话比较多，正、反、还是中立。选好后刻在你脑子里，免得偏题。

　　我的立场： Yes, they should be treated as family memebers.

　　很明显选择这个立场就是要选择PETS 对我们有利的地方，不然的话谁要它啊!于是不停的问自己，PETS 对我们有什么好处呢? 首先PETS 都有什么样的呢? 第一个出现在我脑子里的是狗。那么狗对我们有什么好处呢? 人类最忠实的朋友。但是怎么继续呢?养过狗的人体会深刻，可以把自己和狗的相处讲出来，没养过的难道就不能编一段自己与狗相处的日子吗? 于是我编了一段：小的时候家里养的狗是我的唯一玩伴，给我带来了快乐。狗还有什么好处呢?大家还在什么情况下听过狗呢? 导盲犬听过吧，它们具体工作是什么呢? 这下你有得写了吧，这个可以写上几大段都不重复，导盲犬帮助盲人领路，于是盲人可以自己出巡不用请个小保姆照顾，它们知道车来了要停，走盲道，甚至有的狗可以帮人开门! 不管它们能否做这些事，写上去再说(当然不要太离谱，它们可不会飞)。再想想平时什么地方狗多呢? 公园里啊! 老年人大清早出来散狗，晚上吃完饭还要散，说明什么呢? 说明他们在精神上对狗有依赖性啊，儿女外出打工，工作，一年难得回来几回，狗自然而然可以担当这个DUTY了，甚至还有些老人没有儿女，于是它们把自己的PETS 当成自己的儿女了。有些地方还有什么狗的各种各样的比赛，这些比赛得奖了是对家庭的一种荣誉，没得奖大家也在一起HAPPY 了一下啊......等等等等。大家要不停的问自己，出现了思想，不要觉得太肤浅而PASS掉，多联想一下，思路不是你一开始分析TOPIC 的时候就完成的，有的时候你在写的时候，思路会源源不断的涌出，这个时候说明你初得要领了。

　　现在奉上我写的一篇关于这个TOPIC的文章：

　　Pets are universal all over the world. People in different countries have pets. I have been wondering why it is so common

　　for us to have pets? Well, they are apparently our friends. Sometimes they are great helpers. And to some people, they are

　　important family members.

　　Pets can be friends with which we can live and spend time. I used to have a pet dog when I was very young. It's the only

　　friend I have because Mom and Dad used to be too busy with their work to spend time with me. The only way that I could

　　have fun was to play with my pet. We used to race, swim, and even sleep together. It has a unique position in my childhood

　　memory, because it made my earlier years so much fun instead of being lonely and miserable.

　　Pets are not merely animals that serve the purpose of making fun for us as someone would think. Instead they have their

　　position in this society that is irreplaceable. They are important helpers to the disabled. For example, some dogs can lead the

　　way for the blind. They know which would be the safe path to go, and they know when to stop if a car passes by. They have

　　made the lives of the blind much easier because these people can go outside themselves. Besides leading the way, some pets can even open the door for people who could not stand up right to do it. I can't imagine what their life would be without these aid pets.

　　Pets can also serve as a psychological comfort for the old. It's quite common to see the old walk their dogs in nearby

　　parks early in the morning and evening. These people need someone to be with all the time. But their children have their

　　own lives and it's not possible for them to be with their parents all the time. Therefore this duty is taken by these pets. Some

　　old people who don't have any children even treat these pets as their children.

　　Pets are different than other wild animals,. They play a more important role in our lives in some way. They make us happy

　　D V:oY rr1\0and help us. So if we decide to have a pet in our family, we should also be prepared to treat it as a family member in return

　　for the benefits it brings us.

　　读过这篇文章会发现，并没有什么闪光句型或者词语，文采一般，但是我考试时的作文也不会比这个高到那里去。这个是我刚有体会时早期的写作，大家初步分析，并试着自己就一个TOPIC 分析分析看。呆会我会再来再给大家分析几个TOPIC，并附上我的写作。大家千万不要试着模仿我的用词用句，就像我说的，都很简单，每个人都会，关键看看文章的思路和思想。 如文章有不妥之处，大家敬请指出，我们共同进步。

　　TOPIC:it is more important to work at a job that you enjoy than it is to earn a lot of money

　　I disagree with the statement that it is more important to work at a job that you enjoy than it is to earn a lot of money. Making a lot of money means having more opportunities. Therefore it is more beneficial to me than simply taking a job that I enjoy.

　　At this current situation where we are suffering from this global economic downturn, what concerns me the most is whether or not I can live through this hard time, whether or not I will be able to support my family. Therefore I definitely want a job that I can make more money because it meets my most urgent requirement. Enjoyment would be negligible when compared with livelihood.

　　Making a lot of money will also lead to more happiness than the joy you get from taking a job you like. For example, if I am a millionaire, not only can I provide my families a decent living, but also I can have excess money so that I can donate to the poorer people. I think the overall happiness of the poor getting aid would overmount the happy feeling I myself get. In this sense, taking a job that I enjoy rather than a job with a decent pay would be a little more selfish.

　　Finally, having high payment job doesn't necessarily mean that I will lose the chance to do the job that I enjoy. I can certainly consider doing the job that I enjoy after I save a certain amount of money. This strong economic foundation will reduce a lot of my concerns, therefore I can do the job that I like more freely and I will end up enjoying the job more. Besides this benefit, a strong economic ability also makes it possible for me to enjoy a lot more things. Then, maybe the job that I once considered interesting will not be that fun anymore.

　　While some people may argue that this stance is too realistic or materialistic, I want to remind everyone that we, as human beings, have more obligations that we need to fulfill. A high payment job will make these a lot easier to meet. What's more, it also will offer us opportunities. So payment will be my number one concern when i choose a job.

　　TOPIC：Advances in transportation and communication like the airplane and the telephone have changed the way that nations interact with each other in a global society.Choose another technological innovation that you think is important.

　　Although internet came into being about 2 decades ago, it has changed the way we live much more than the last 200 years. Its influence on business, communication and information is so profound that people now simply can't live without it.

　　Based on the development of internet, a lot of new types of business ranging from international conglomerate to regional small online shops are also established. The most famous internet based international conglomerate would be Google. Companies like this basically do not sell products but their service. This changed the traditional way of doing business which always involved some concrete products sell to people. Internet opens a cyber world in which a huge market is untapped. Besides large companies, internet also prospers small businesses. For example, local stores can do their business online. All they have to do is to create a website of their own and all customers need to do is to go to their websites and order what they want. Then they just need wait at home for the products they just purchased to be delivered. This way, we never need to worry about the traditional exhausting shopping.

　　Internet also fundamentally changed the way people communicate. There are a lot of chatting programs, such as MSN, YAHOO MESSENGER, SKYPE, that make it possible for people from different parts of the world to have a conversation with each other as long as everyone has access to internet. They even provide audio and video services meaning not only people can chat, but also they can hear and see each other. Besides that, what really makes them appealing is that they don't charge us for doing these things. These advantages definitely surpass the service that mobile phone provides us.
　Internet is also like a huge tank that can contain almost infinite information. A search has shown that right now the information that internet can provide us exceeds any library in the world and some even argue that it has more information than all the libraries in total. I certainly wouldn't doubt that. I use internet to search for a lot of information. Whenever I have an project to finish, the first thing I do is to go to the internet to find relevant materials.

　　There is no doubt that internet has had a fundamental change on our everyday life. Though there are many problems that accompany with it, we can't deny that internet is one of the most innovations in human history.

　　TOPIC:You are planning to study abroad.What do you think you will like and dislike about this experience?Why?

　　Studying abroad is becoming more and more popular among college students. It not only provides us opportunity to learn sophisticated technology and knowledge but also gives us chances to experience different cultures and life. However the fact that it will get me away from my family and friends for a long time is a bother to me.

　　One of the major reasons that I want to study abroad is to acquire state of the art technology in a particular field. Now I am majoring electrical engineering, and I want to get further education in this field as a post graduate. However electrical engineering is not as well developed in my own nation as it is in the US. So in order to be an expert in this field and to follow my personal interest, studying abroad is a very good option. This way I can always have access to valuable knowledge as well as keep myself in the frontier in electrical engineering.

　　Besides getting technical knowledge, studying abroad is also a chance for me to learn about different culture. It's quite obvious that life in another country would be totally different from that of my own. First of all, I have to speak their language so that I can interact with other people. Secondly, I have to adjust myself to their way of thinking, and way of dealing with people, in other words, social skills. Finally I would also acquaint myself with a variety of new things that simply don't exist in my home country. For example, American football is not that popular in China, but if I study in America and I want to have topic with other students, I think what I will have to do is to force myself to watch it, least of all, get to know it a little bit. These experiences would be very valuable since you can not get them anywhere else but this particular country.

　　While I experience new culture I would certainly miss things and people traditional in my own country. Studying abroad is a long-term investment. I might be away from home for a year or maybe even two years, which means that I will not be able to see my families and friends for that long time. Without doubt, I will miss them a lot, and sometimes this miss might be so intense that I simply can't deal with it. What's more I will miss the traditional foods so much as well. I never expect that I can find the similar flavor of those foods in another country. So that poses me another problem of studying abroad.

　Despite all these disadvantages, I still prefer to study abroad. Because after all, my ultimate goal is to learn sophisticated knowledge and technology, which could better prepares me for my future challenges.

　　三篇应该差不多了吧，大家好好看看吧。

　　最后我来说说综合写作：

　　这个其实面很广，不好说。比如说有的是READING中三个论点非常明显，然后LECTURE 中再来三个论点，要么SUPPORT 要么OPPOSE。这类的综合写作相对来说是比较好写的，比BARRON，DELTA 上的综合写作都要好写。大家可以用高分120写作，上面基本上是这一类的。我只有一次IBT考试经验，我考的时候就是这一类的，但是至于是不是所有的考试都是这一类的，我就不好说了。 所以大家还是最好把每一类的都写写，重点可以放在我刚才讲的那一类上。

　　下面附上一篇我考试前一天晚上写的这一类的文章(高分120上的关于马可波罗的)

　　In this set of materials, the reading passage discusses reasons that seem to show that Marco Polo never made it to China, while in the lecture, the professor argues that she thinks Marco Polo did go to China and gives her reasons.

　　The first point made in the reading passage is that the fact that Marco Polo never picked up any Chinese and his reference to Chinese locations are borrowed from Persian language demonstrates that he did not arrive at China. However in the listening passage, while the professor confirms the fact, she argues that the borrowing of names from Persian is reasonable because the Persian region is what connects Asia and Europe in the past.

　　The second point made in the reading passage is that Marco Polo never mentioned tea and teahouse in China in his books. Therefore it's not likely that he did come to China. But the professor says at that time in China, tea and teahouse were only popular in Southern China. Since Marco Polo spent most of his time in Northern China, it is not a surprise that he did not mention tea and teahouse in his book.

　　l4w0 The third point made in the reading passage is that there is no records in China as to whether or not Marco Polo served at the court of the Mongol ruler. The professor explains that it might be because he was referred to by a different name because at that time in China, some court record didn't use real names,or the record about him was lost.

　　-最后再给大家一点建议： 综合不要写得太长，题目上说要225字，我觉得超出一点没有关系，但是保持在260字以内最好，曾经有一个哥们写了400多字结果只有一个FAIR，我觉得原因是他把READING 中的话大段大段的抄在了自己作文上。这点大家一定要慎重! READING 可以抄，一两句话即可，抄上中心思想，重点意思就OK 了。当然自己归纳也是可行的。终于写玩了，我也要安心准备GRE了。祝大家也祝我自己好运。