2015年11月商务英语BEC高级写作实用技巧（5）

　　Distribution 分布

　　描写数据分布的report一般为pie chart，主要叙述和对比各部分比例，常用总分--小总分—总结构。一般包括预算支出比例、年龄、性别分布、调查反馈意见比例等。经常会用到倍数关系、分数关系等。需要熟练掌握叙述比例的词和句子。

　　1. 性别、年龄分布

　　Report on Distribution of male and female managers in different age groups

　　The report analyses the numbers of male and female managers in different age groups in Star World. The company employs almost an equal number of executives of both sexes. However, there are remarkable differences depending on the age range considered. 【中心句】

　　Female executives dominate in the age group between 24 and 39, where the ratio is 42 to just 10, the first representing the number of women and the latter, men.

　　Nevertheless, in the age range above 40, male executives are in majority. Although in group 40 to 49 the split is slight [29 male executives to 28 female], amongst older managers men starkly dominate. The difference reaches 20 in range 50 to 59, with 39 male directors and 19 female directors. It decreases half in group 60 to 69, where 10 women hold top position in comparison to 21 men. Yet in the last age group, 70 to 79, female executives are absent. It solely consists of 4 male managers.

　　NOTE;

　　1. 本文以male和female的dominate为中心，以difference between the two numbers为主线，将每组的数据自然的串联起来。同时将分组的分布叙述的很清楚。词汇和语句多变。

　　2. 对executives进行了多样化的说法，包括managers, hold the top position, in the upper echelon, reach the top management level等。Female 和 male也可以用women和men简化处理。

　　3.注意对比两项数字时的语言;

　　4. 注意上下文的连贯和逻辑。从finding里找出叙事的主线为; 从where the ratio is…开始，到although the split is slight in…, 到the difference reaches …in …, 到it decreases half in…. 最后到 Yet in…. XXX is absent, 内容十分连贯，主线明确。

　　2. 出口量比例对比

　　Report on Grains export in Europe and North America

　　This report aims to show the differences in exports of wheat, corn and soy between Europe and America

　　Firstly, wheat exports in Europe take up the largest proportion of the three grains, accounting for 60% of the total grain exports. This percentage is twice as much as that in America where the wheat exports represent only 30%.

　　Moreover, corn exports of the two continents are quite different, taking up 20% of the grain exports in Europe compared to 60% in America.

　　By comparison, the split of soy exports between the two regions is much smaller as in Europe soy contributes 20% to the total grain exports while in America, it contributes 10%.

　　In conclusion, we can see clearly that Europe exports more wheat while North America is famous for corn exports.

　　采用总分—小总分—总结构，逐项比较split.

　　总起句一般点名：higher, lower, more, less, different, similar, split is large/small等。

　　分述句一般采用动名词结构，独立主格结构，或as, in that等对总起句进行补充说明。

　　3. survey—预算支出比例

　　重点：对比，compare the differences

　　Report On IT Expenditure Planning

　　This report sets out to describe the different opinions on the IT expenditure budget planning for the next year in companies in Europe and South-East Asia.

　　European Companies

　　When asked about the IT expenditure, 35% of the respondents plumped for increasing the budget whereas 30% recommended cutting down on it. The remaining 35%, however, thought there was no need to alter the current spending on information technology. It can be seen that the three different opinions accounted for a similar proportion in this group.

　　South-Asian Companies

　　In contrast to Europe, number of companies advocating getting the IT expenditure down were in sliding majority, taking up 59% of the total respondents.

　　Conversely, only 16% of the respondents suggested increasing the budget, much lower than the percentage in Europe, while 25% thought that it should maintain the current position.

　　NOTE: 注意本文的重点是 compare the difference 一定要在此上做文章，而不是单纯呈现数据。注意加强对比的力度。只呈现数据的话等于是让读者自己去比，失去了此报告的意义。

　　Band 5 Sample ： 总—小总分结构; 现在时态,

　　Report: IT expenditure in Europe vs Asia

　　The overall result of this international survey on planned IT expenditure for the next year shows significant differences between Europe and Asia (总起句).

　　According to the survey results, European companies are almost equally divided between increasing their IT spending, keeping it at this year’s level or decreasing it.

　　The situation in Asia is quite different. 小总

　　Almost 60% of the surveyed Asian companies plan to increase their IT expenditure next year, compared to just over a third in Europe. /分1 increase

　　Moreover, Asian companies seem less keen on cutting IT spending, as 【小总，嵌入结论】only 16% are planning to decrease it, compared to 30% in Europe. /分2，decrease

　　Finally, the percentage of companies who are planning to keep IT expenditure at the same level is also lower in Asia, although not to the same extent. /分3，maintain

　　注意范文的结构：

　　总起句—Europe情况综述---以Asia情况为切入点，逐项对比，并不用把所有数据都写上去。只是需要告诉读者higher than, lower than.., 就可以了。

　　Firstly, increase 60% compared to just over a third

　　Moreover, less keen on cutting IT spending. 16%，compared to 30%

　　Finally, Keep it at the same level is also lower, although not to the same extent.

　　4. survey----调查结果报告

　　Report on Results of a Survey

　　This report sets out to present the results of a survey carried out recently among the directors or senior managers of small and medium-sized business.

　　1. Weekly working hours

　　The result of the survey shows that 227 managers work 40-50 hours a week on average, accounting for almost half of the total respondents. The number of people working more than 50 hours is similar to that in 40-50 range, with 161 managers working 50-60 hours a week while 82 working even more than 60 hours. By contrast, only 52 respondents work less than 40 hours a week, taking the smallest proportion of the four ranges.

　　2. Number of staff grown or not

　　According to the survey, 328 of the surveyed directors reported an increased workforce compared to 194 whose staff number hasn’t grown.

　　3. Communication technology investments

　　Asked about their investments in communication technology, only 135 respondents didn’t increase the spending while over twice as many have invested more.

　　--------------------

　　题目;

　　Below are the results of a survey carried out recently among the directors or senior managers of small and medium-sized businesses.

　　1. how many hours do you work a week;

　　Less than 40; 52

　　40-50 hours; 227

　　50-60 hours; 161

　　Above 60; 82

　　2. has your number of staff grown/

　　328; yes, 194; no

　　3. have you increased your investment in communication technology

　　387 yes, 135 no.

　　5. survey---产品反馈意见

　　-这篇作文是市场调查反应的叙述，与前面学过的不同，没有特定是时期，也没有趋势的描写，重点在于数据比例的叙述。应注意语言的多样性和文章的条理。

　　Report on Market Survey about Service Provision of XX Centre

　　This report describes the distribution of positive and negative responses about service provision of XX centre given by 1250 respondents in a market survey

　　The graph shows that 700 out of the 1250 respondents gave positive comments on the parking facilities whereas 550 customers responded negatively.

　　The ticket cost, on the other hand, was the area where the complaints mainly concentrated. The negative comments reached a record level of 900, almost three times as many as the positive which was only 350.

　　Booking service received a similar number of both good and bad comments with the positive outnumbering the negative by only 50.

　　The attitude of staff was the most satisfactory area by far with the highest customer satisfaction rate of 75% as well as the fewest negative responses of 300.

　　To conclude, it is clear that the ticket cost should be reduced to a more competitive level. /Conclude 写的太简单/

　　Band 4 Sample

　　This bar chart shows the number of positive and negative responses given by customers in a market survey about services at a leisure centre.

　　Asked about the parking facilities at the leisure centre, 700 out of 1250 respondents responded positively, whereas 550 said something negative about it.

　　Looking at the ticket cost, there were almost three times as many people responding negatively than positively.

　　The booking service was equally evaluated. For this service, the survey counted 650 positive and 600 negative responses.

　　In contrast to the ticket costs, the attitude of staff was evaluated very positively. Only a fourth of the 1250 respondents complained about the attitude of staff while the remaining 950 people thought positively about the staff at the leisure centre.

　　Summarizing the results of this survey you can say that there is need for improvement in the fields of ticket costs, booking service and parking.